Heartache without the weight gain

This might be a little too personal to be sharing with so many people but I think it could help a few individuals out there. Here goes nothing!

Right now, I'm going through a breakup. Yes, two Thursdays ago, I finally called it quits with my first boyfriend. Since the day we met, it was very rare that we could go a whole day without speaking. Before we even started having feelings for each other or dating or anything, we were already talking every day. So you can imagine how hard it is to have gone this long without so much as a word to each other. And for everyone who has been through a breakup, you don't even have to imagine. You know how difficult going through this is.

I don't want to talk about the sadness or hurt or anger though. I just want people to know that I feel great! Please don't go thinking that I'm so heartless as not to care about the break up. The fact of the matter is that we love each other very much and can honestly say that we held on to it until holding on was just hurting us. There were too many problems and we were unhappy. So going our separate ways was the best, if not the only, option. I can't be miserable when I know that I saved us both a great deal of pain.

At the very start of this ordeal, it was SO hard to get up and work out. Even harder was denying myself all the comfort food. But somehow I convinced myself that not being healthy just wasn't worth it, no matter how bad I felt. So after the breakup, I attended my pole class and ate a healthy dinner and just forced myself to stick with it.

Eventually you get the hang of functioning despite all the negative feelings. So I kept working out even outside dance class. I did stretches and crunches. And I was pretty surprised to find how good I felt. You could say it's all just endorphins but I think it's more than that. Even my eating habits stayed intact. I avoided all the comfort food like chips and cake and chocolate and SUGAR. As shallow as this might sound, I told myself "You're alone again. You need to give those other boys something to look at. You're looking for an ego boost from a person and not a quick fix from food." Knowing that you're doing something for yourself and staying healthy and trying your best to look good makes you feel good too.

That good feeling is what I held on to. Somewhere behind this nightmare was something good and I was determined to get my hands on it. Now, I feel amazing! There are times, of course, when sadness strikes and I let myself mope for a few minutes. But overall, I'm happy. It's just a matter of perspective. To me, this breakup is a test of self-control, self-love, determination and the ultimate learning experience. So I'll take what life has to throw at me, roll with the punches, and at times fall down. But nothing is gonna stop me from getting back up and making myself better. And this time I'm not doing it for anybody else but me.

My Top Break-Up Songs:

1. You Learn - Alanis Morisette
2. Don't Want You Back - Backstreet Boys
3. Rescued - Jack's Mannequin

Have a great weekend, everybody! I will!